Wednesday, October 21
The fat fetus
I think I need a whole new blog called the fat fetus. It's pretty fucked up to be told your fetus is fat and needs to slow down with the weight gain. Now when people stop me and ask me when I'm due or if I'm about to pop I just feel like answering..."Welllll...you see...I have a fat fetus."I decided it should be illegal to force a pregnant woman to follow some crazy diet. It was really cute when my Dietician started talking about the food pyramid to me. I know that shit like the back of my hand! However when you're pregnant there is this whole other category called DELICIOUSNESS. Everything tastes delicious. And I'm sorry but if a bowl of plain old oatmeal and a pumpkin pie blizzard both give me the same reading what am I supposed to choose? Not that I've tried this mind you...that was an..err...theory is all.
So the hospital registers a woman with gestational diabetes and has you write down what you want for your first meal. I was told most women select chocolate cake. Fuck that! First of all at night I dream of tall ice cold glasses of milk. And right behind that milk is a big helping of chips and salsa from my favorite restaurant. Screw the cake! I can have sugar free cake at home that tastes just as good. Bring me bread! Wrapped around some ice cream!
So I start on insulin tomorrow to see if it will help with the growth of my fat fetus. The way the doctors all speak to me I feel like he's in there in a diaper already ready to come into this world sumo style. Poor little guy. I just think it's completely fucked up all around that my whole life is now revolving around food.
I wonder if I can fit fuck in a post anymore? Probably but I have to go make my before bed snack. I'll have some air..with a side of more air.
posted by CheekyMoo @ 10:21 PM
comments (1)
Thursday, October 15
So...I have a fat baby
So no matter what I eat good or bad my blood sugars have been terrible. I feel like crap! Once again I have to ask how people with diabetes can live like this. If my number is near 200 I feel like I drank 10 red bulls. It sucks! The dietician is giving me 2 more days then it's meds. Now, knowing what I know I am aware that insulin is going to be the only answer so why the fuck not just start me on it now?I had the growth scan on my man yesterday and everyone was in shock. He's fat! He should weigh around 2 lbs right now and he weighs FOUR. So can we just stop messing around and start the meds? Duh! I also informed the high risk specialist that I will be having a c-section. While I've never had one of those before I am positive my vagina should not have to go through pushing out a 12 lb baby. Nooooo wayyyy! She-ra and I have discussed this and agree that she's not down for that.
I'm so tired of being pregnant. I'm depressed, I cry all the time, and I'm just over this. Every dr's visit is bad news. The kind that ends with...and your baby could die. Therefore I end up dreaming at night about his funeral, about him dying, etc. And Scott says to me, hopefully our next one.... Hold up! Our next one can come from the far off land of Vietnam or China. My. Vagina. Is. Closed.
To illustrate my point this is our guy 3.5 weeks ago:
(notice how he won't show us his face? Shy!)
And this is our guy yesterday...GINORMOUS:
posted by CheekyMoo @ 10:30 AM
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whole other category called DELICIOUSNESS - That cracked me UP!!!!
11:35 AM
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