Wednesday, October 21
The fat fetus
I think I need a whole new blog called the fat fetus. It's pretty fucked up to be told your fetus is fat and needs to slow down with the weight gain. Now when people stop me and ask me when I'm due or if I'm about to pop I just feel like answering..."Welllll...you see...I have a fat fetus."I decided it should be illegal to force a pregnant woman to follow some crazy diet. It was really cute when my Dietician started talking about the food pyramid to me. I know that shit like the back of my hand! However when you're pregnant there is this whole other category called DELICIOUSNESS. Everything tastes delicious. And I'm sorry but if a bowl of plain old oatmeal and a pumpkin pie blizzard both give me the same reading what am I supposed to choose? Not that I've tried this mind you...that was an..err...theory is all.
So the hospital registers a woman with gestational diabetes and has you write down what you want for your first meal. I was told most women select chocolate cake. Fuck that! First of all at night I dream of tall ice cold glasses of milk. And right behind that milk is a big helping of chips and salsa from my favorite restaurant. Screw the cake! I can have sugar free cake at home that tastes just as good. Bring me bread! Wrapped around some ice cream!
So I start on insulin tomorrow to see if it will help with the growth of my fat fetus. The way the doctors all speak to me I feel like he's in there in a diaper already ready to come into this world sumo style. Poor little guy. I just think it's completely fucked up all around that my whole life is now revolving around food.
I wonder if I can fit fuck in a post anymore? Probably but I have to go make my before bed snack. I'll have some air..with a side of more air.
posted by CheekyMoo @ 10:21 PM
comments (1)
whole other category called DELICIOUSNESS - That cracked me UP!!!!
11:35 AM
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